What Is & What Should Never Be
by Ultrawoman
Summary: AU Season 5, Lexmas. After being shot on Christmas Eve, Lex finds himself in some kind of dreamworld where he is notsohappily married to Lana, and seeking solace in the arms of a certain local blonde beauty. Chlex.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm back! Yeah, so most of you in this fandom probably didn't know I was ever here, but I actually started my fanfic career in the Smallville fandom, shipping the Chlex. I'm hoping my writing has improved since 2002, but my fave ship hasn't changed. With a little luck, I'm not alone in still supporting the Chloe/Lex pairing, I know some people have given up on the ship. Also, please excuse the fact this is a Christmas fic in November - by the time I get the story finished it will most likely be Christmas anyway!**

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**Summary : AU Season 5, Lexmas. After being shot on Christmas Eve, Lex finds himself in some kind of dreamworld where he is not-so-happily married to Lana, and seeking solace in the arms of a certain local blonde beauty. Chlex.**

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**Disclaimer : All recognisable characters belong to Millar Gough Ink and/or DC Comics - unfortunately, I own none of these wonderful characters! ****Title taken from the title of a song by Led Zeppelin.********

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Chapter 1

Lex didn't understand at all when he woke up and found himself in a strange bed. Someone was lying beside him, a warm female form was pressed up close to his body and he turned to see who was there, absently letting names run through his head - Chloe, Lana... the second was true, he found, and yet he couldn't quite understand where they were or how he'd got here.

Before he had time to think too much about it, there was a loud cry of 'Breakfast!' as a small boy came hurtling towards the bed, throwing himself between Lex and Lana and bouncing around like a crazy person.

"Whoa! Who are you?" he checked, backing up against the headboard as Lana woke and looked between her husband and son.

"Please, Lex" she whispered, as her son jumped all over the room, "Don't take our fight out on him. You did promise him" she reminded him.

"Fight? Promised him?" Lex echoed her words, not understanding them at all.

"Come on!" the boy yelled again, further agitating the man who couldn't recall anything Lana was telling him

"Pancakes" she said then, as she got out of bed and pulled on a silky robe, not looking happy at all, "You promised Alex pancakes, and then you were going to go shopping for a tree" she snapped at Lex who still lie there in the bed, dumb-struck by this turn of events.

"Come on, Dad!" Alex urged Lex, pulling at his arm and wanting him to get up to fulfil his promises of a special breakfast and then a trip to the Christmas Tree lot.

"But I..." he began, only for Lana to hold up a hand to silence him.

"No, don't. Don't complain to me. You're the one who always waits 'til Christmas Eve to get the tree" she reminded him, before taking Alex's hand and leading him back to his room to get him dressed.

Alone in the room, Lex looked around at a bedroom he didn't recognise, in a house that was a mystery to him. The last memory he had was being in an alley, two muggers coming at him with guns and then... and then nothing, just pain and then a flash of light and suddenly he was here. Lifting his shirt, Lex found two scars, one from a surgery and next to it, one from a bullet.

"What happened? Where am I?" he asked himself as he got out of bed and moved through to the bathroom.

Washing his face made him feel a little better, but looking up into the mirror above the sink made things worse.

"Mom?" Lex gasped at the sight of her in the mirror behind him, "But, you're... Am I dead?" he asked her, thinking this was a strange kind of heaven or even hell.

Married to Lana with a child of their own, it was a strange thought and not one he'd really considered. He had considered he might want her, even maybe love her, but marriage and children, his thoughts had never moved that far, and it didn't exactly seem that they were happy this way.

"No, Lex" Lillian smiled, "You're not dead, you're still very much alive" she promised him, "And it's not a dream" she added, pre-empting the question that was next on his mind, "It is real, Lex. As real as you want it to be. This can be your life, all of it, if you make the right choices"

"All of it?" he echoed, looking around himself, "What do you mean? What are you talking...?" his question hung in mid-air, incomplete, as he turned and found his mother gone.

How he'd come to be here, Lex hadn't a clue, and how long this delusion, dream, whatever it was might last, he had no way to tell. All he could do was what any Luthor would, work out what was going on here, what power he had, and how best he might use it to his advantage.

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Lex was somewhat overwhelmed by the situation he found himself in, not something he was used to as a Luthor. He usually felt so in control, and he liked it that way. Here in this alternate world, he was at a loss. From what Lana had said whilst she'd been snapping at him, he'd given up his billionaire lifestyle seven years ago when she herself gave him an ultimatum - his money or her. She couldn't live the life he'd had before, and he'd thought himself in love, apparently. He'd given up everything to be with her, they'd got married, had a child, everything ought to be rosy by now, but it wasn't.

From what Lex understood, he and his so-called wife fought a lot lately. Lana was eager to get him out of the house and not have to talk to him, though she put on a good show in front of little Alex. Lex couldn't imagine how he and Lana had come to a stage where they had such apparent dislike for each other, or why they stayed married when they felt this way, though he suspected they were both just too proud to give up on themselves like that.

All this he had figured out on the drive to the lot, and now, whilst standing with his son in front of the tallest Christmas tree in the place, he wished that if he were going to dream or just see a future for himself that it had been different to this. Alex was talking to him now, and he barely heard a word. Nothing could hold his attention as the cogs in his brain whirred at lightening speed in an attempt to process what the hell was happening here. The voice to eventually pull him from his deep thought was female and unmistakable as she called his name, and he turned to see her there before him, with a more than familiar man at her side.

If Lex had been stunned enough to discover he had a wife and child in this apparently crazy delusion, now he was doubly shocked as he realised Clark and Chloe seemed to be a couple, and it seemed it was him rather than her that worked at the Daily Planet now. Life really hadn't turned out like any of his plans, and his confusion grew by the second, as his old best friend with whom he'd become somewhat estranged in the real world now picked up Alex and 'flew' him all around the Christmas tree lot.

"I've got some pretty big news" Chloe said with a grin as she stood before him.

"Okay" Lex said, fighting the nervous edge to his voice, after all he may be a loving husband and father, and good friend to many here, but he was still a Luthor, and emotions had to be held back to a certain degree.

"My book's being published in January" Chloe told him proudly, with one of those smiles that managed to light up not jut her entire face but the whole area around her for a mile, Lex shouldn't wonder.

It wasn't often in the real world that he'd been granted the pleasure of seeing her so happy, especially not lately, since they'd been far from the best of friends. Still, he was seeing it now and it pleased him as he stammered out an awkward congratulations.

"Wow, that's... that's great" he told her, wondering when he'd got hypnotised by her dancing eyes and bright smile enough that he forgot where he was.

"Yeah, they loved the idea of a Luthorcorp expose, complete with an anonymous tell-all source" she said, giddily, as she suddenly threw her arms around him in a tight hug.

Lex was taken aback by the sudden affection, not least because the last time he and Chloe had real talked he'd probably scared the life out of her by yelling crazily about Clark and his secrets. He knew he would've scared any normal girl, but Chloe wasn't your average young woman. She would never truly be afraid of him. Even his father hadn't managed to break her, he was sure he never could, nor would ever really want to. She'd been an ally more than an enemy over the years, he realised as he hugged her back.

"Thank you so much, I couldn't have done it without you, Lex" she whispered in his ear, quickly adding, "I'll thank you properly later" she told him, as they sharply pulled apart and the look in the young woman's eyes then took him aback.

Lex was unaccustomed to such a look from Chloe. Her facial expression shifted usually between only two looks with him, either polite smiles because she had to, or anger at something awful she would accuse him of.

This was new, and almost frightening as Lex realised there was a want in her eyes for him, a hunger that didn't really belong in the face of one so young, but then here she was not so very young. None of them were as young, or apparently as innocent as they'd once been, back in that other reality that Lex had slipped from, into this odd dream that was proving to be even crazier than he originally thought.

"Alright Miss Did-I-mention-that-my-book-is-about-to-be-published" Clark grinned as he appeared beside them, putting Alex back onto his feet beside his father, "Let's get your tree and get out of here" he said, putting an arm around Chloe's shoulders to lead her away, "Bye, Alex" he said to the little boy who crazily waved to his Uncle Clark as he walked away.

Chloe waved back to the little boy, before turning her eyes on Lex, a look of almost regret that she had to walk away from him. She said goodbye as Clark called cheerily that they'd see him tonight, and Lex summoned a smile and a wave as he too said his goodbyes.

Lex was almost unaware of Alex bouncing beside him, or the other people milling around him amongst the Christmas trees. His eyes were stuck on the retreating figures of two people he used to call friends, whom apparently he still could use that word for, and yet where Chloe was concerned, he got the distinct feeling there was something more between them.

Surely, if he had Lana now, a wife to love him and a child too, Lex couldn't imagine why he would ever be messing around with Chloe, especially when she seemed so close to Clark. It was crazy, but then, there was very little in this odd world he found himself in that Lex wouldn't have called crazy right now.

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As Lex pulled the car up onto the driveway, Lana came out of the front door. Though her smile for Alex was genuine enough, Lex had seen the look that crossed her face before that, whether she'd tried to hide it or not. It seemed somewhere along the line his relationship with this woman had turned sour, she seemed bitter about something, perhaps all that she'd lost by choosing to be with him, though so far Lex could make a longer list of his own losses.

"Mommy! Come see!" Alex yelled excitedly as Lex brought his brain back to reality, or whatever the hell this place was, and focused on his wife and child.

"It's certainly big" Lana said as she looked daggers at Lex, "For once I thought we might actually stick to a budget, but it looks like your Dad got over zealous... again" she said pointedly to her husband, though of course Alex paid little or no attention.

The boy was soon sent inside, as Lex started to unfasten the tree from the roof rack.

"Lana, come on, I just..." he began to explain, but the look on her face told his she didn't really want to know.

There was a cold hardness there in her eyes that he never thought he'd see on her sweet face. Whatever had gone wrong between them it seemed it was likely to be his fault somehow for her to look at him so severely over something so simple as an over-sized Christmas tree.

"Every year, the same thing happens" she shook her head, a sad smile crossing her lips, "Not even just Christmas, it's everything, Lex. You know the budget we're on, you've known for seven years now, since your Dad cut you off for choosing to be with me" she reminded him, "Why is it so hard for you to listen to me and do what I ask?" she asked with a tired sigh.

"Lana, I think you're over-reacting" Lex smiled, reaching out to her, but she backed away, "It's just a tree"

"It's not about the tree, Lex" she shook her head, "It's about money going from our account without explanation. It's about lies and your avoidance of answering questions. It's about your disappearing without a word or an explanation, Lex, and it's about you letting down Alex"

Lex's anger had grown alongside hers as she began to yell at him. He wouldn't take this from a woman, especially not from Lana. All he appeared to have done for her, given up for her, and she had the nerve to stand here and say he was a liar, a cheat, and a useless father. She was equating him to his own parent, to Lionel Luthor, and that he would not take. He shot back the nearest insult to hand, be it true or not.

"Are you sure the problem is all that complicated, Lana?" he asked her, eyes flashing cold as steel, "Or are you just sore that I'm not Clark Kent?"

Her hand making contact with his face was somewhat of a surprise, though it probably shouldn't have been. The storming into the house was less shocking and Lex watched her go, wondering what this place he'd landed in really was all about. As he stood there contemplating where he went from here, a beeping sound started up from his pocket and he pulled out a cell phone from inside his jacket.

The screen displayed words that told him he'd just received a text message from Chloe and with a frown forming on his features he pressed the button to open said message.

'The old apartment. Fifteen minutes. Time to unwrap your Christmas present. C x'

_To Be Continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Thanx so much for the all the supportive reviews :-)  
_(For disclamer, etc. - see chapter 1)_**

Chapter 2

Lex was always good at puzzles and conundrums, figuring things out the logical way. Not much here in this alternate reality was rooted in logic, Lex was sure; this secret meeting with Chloe was itself far from something he might call normal in the 'real' world. Still, 'the old apartment' could really only mean one place in Smallville as far as the young Mr Luthor could fathom, and that was the place above the Talon.

Realising he was probably a married man coming here to cheat on his wife, Lex took the less familiar route around the back of the building and parked the car. For several moments he sat there, engine still running, hand on the ignition key as he considered what he was going to do here. To leave now would make Chloe suspicious, but to go inside would mean continuing what seemed to be a sordid affair. There was a third option, Lex realised, as he shut off the engine and got out of the car. The only thing he could really do was break it off with the blonde and be done, and yet Lex wasn't sure he would be able too.

Chloe was an attractive young woman, it wasn't as if he hadn't noticed, and she seemed much more forthcoming with affection here in this world than his so-called wife. Lana was cold and bitter towards him, for whatever reason, and the least Lex would be able to gain from meeting with Chloe was perhaps reasons for his current situation. They had to be somewhat close, though a sexual relationship did not necessarily dictate that they shared secrets, Lex had a hunch that Chloe wouldn't've got this close to him, or him to her without some particular reasons cropping up. After all, he'd always suspected she was devoted to Clark, and his relationship with Lana ought to have been all he wanted - seven years on, apparently not.

Glad nobody of importance was around to see him, Lex slipped into the Talon and up the stairs of the vacant place to the door of the apartment. He found it slightly open, and prepared himself for whatever he might find beyond as he pushed it open and went inside. The place was clearly not regularly used by anyone. Very little in the way of possessions or particular items of importance cluttered the place, just basic furniture in near-empty rooms.

Lex was just taking the place in, when a voice caught him off guard and he almost physically jumped.

"What took you so long?" Chloe asked in sultry tones.

Despite the fact he ought to have been prepared for such a sight, Lex was still stunned when he turned and saw her standing there in the doorway to the bedroom. That hungry look in her eyes remained, but it didn't hold his attention for long, after all he was just a man when it came down to it, and she was all woman in nothing but red lace underwear and a silky robe.

"For a guy that usually has an answer for everything, you look kind of speechless" she said when he was quiet too long, "but I have to admit, it was my dishonourable intention, well, one of them anyway" she said as she came towards him, only to slide past, brushing his body with her own as she went towards the counter and poured out two glasses of red wine.

"Chloe" Lex said too softly for his liking, but honestly she had managed to shock him, in spite of the fact he'd known very well what he was coming here for, or at least what she wanted him to come here for, "I don't know exactly what you thought you were doing when you sent me that message..."

"Oh God, Lana didn't see that, right? I thought you said your cell was the only safe way to contact you because you never left it lying around" she said quickly, looking almost worried suddenly.

"Lana didn't see anything" he assured her, bringing the smile back to her face which was not an unwelcome sight.

Lex wasn't blind to the fact that Chloe had a body to die for, she was certainly making the most of showing it to him, but some of his focus did manage to stay on her pretty face, especially when she smiled, her eyes lighting up brighter than any fairylights he'd seen in this odd Christmas Eve set up.

"Well, that's good" Chloe nodded, as she came towards him once again and handed him a glass of wine, "Merry Christmas" she said clinking their glasses together, and they drank, Lex much more quickly than Chloe as he downed the alcohol in one, hoping it might clear some confusion - he ought to have known the opposite would be true.

"Easy, Lex" Chloe giggled as she took his empty glass from him and set it back down on the counter with her own, "I didn't meet you here to watch you get wasted" she told him.

"And what exactly did you meet me here for, Chloe?" Lex asked, knowing as he said the words how stupid they sounded.

It was perfectly obvious why he was here, what he'd yet to figure out was why he would want to be. Affairs were part of the life of a billionaire, just as common as limousines and a collection of houses around the globe; his father had taught him long ago that this was just the way the world worked. Still, Lex had information enough from this strange reality to know that he was no longer rich, and had apparently given up everything to be with Lana. Though their marriage seemed rocky at best these days why he would be cheating with Chloe, and moreso why she would be cheating on Clark, the supposed man of her dreams, that really did not make sense.

"Oh, so we're playing that game today, huh?" she smiled a smile far too enticing for Lex's comfort as she stepped in close to him, causing him to swallow hard, "It's never simple with you, is it, Mr Luthor?" she smirked, her hands on his chest, sliding down towards their real target.

Lex's brain had told him to catch her hands, to stop her, to stop all of this. Unfortunately, he found his reactions were not as good as they might be today, and that perhaps it was not the brain in his head that was controlling him as Chloe's lips found his and her hands found other things. Kissing her was not exactly what Lex had expected, if he'd expected anything at all. It wasn't as if he spent great amounts of time sat just wondering what it would be like to kiss random women. Where Clark was one for deep thought, Lex considered himself a man of action. What he wanted he went out and got, no wondering and questioning required.

When it came to Chloe, he'd only ever admit to thinking of her as a friend of a friend, but that was, at least to a certain degree, a lie. He would've had to have been blind not to notice she was a good looking girl, and she'd certainly grown into a well-formed young woman now. Though he may never have considered kissing her, he had never been oblivious to her charm. Lana had obvious beauty, but Chloe held something deeper inside, something Lex knew he caught glimpses of and yet she saved most of what she'd had for Clark.

Thoughts of the young man he'd called a best friend for so long pulled Lex from the pleasures of getting close to a young woman who had a hunger for him almost beyond comprehension.

"Chloe" he said breathlessly as he put his hands to her shoulders and held her away from him.

Her eyes were wild with passion as she stared at him, her displeasure at being pushed away just as obvious as her want for him.

"Chloe, what about Clark?" Lex asked just as soon as he could find breath enough to speak and brain function enough to form a sentence - few women ever had enough allure to put his head in such a spin so easily, and that was equal parts thrilling and frightening to him.

"I keep telling you, Lex" Chloe said tiredly, like she'd argued with him too many times on this subject, "Clark has no idea about us" she swore as she put her hands on his at her shoulders, "And even if he did, I keep enough secrets for him, it's not like he couldn't keep this one for me" she said with a smile as she pushed his hands lightly off her shoulders and he let them slide down her arms.

"If he knew..." he said with a confused look that only served to make Chloe look both bored and angry suddenly as she moved away from her lover.

"If Clark is the main thing on your mind right now, Lex, maybe you'd be happier alone with him" she huffed, turning her back on him as she poured another glass of wine, "I'm not sure Lois would approve of you stealing her husband away for this kind of activity but..."

"Husband?" Lex echoed in astonishment, which Chloe did not catch at all as she rolled her eyes at his response.

"Fine, fiancé, whatever" she snapped as she downed her drink too fast, "Everybody knows they're not splitting up any time soon, I don't know why they don't just make it official already, and do us all a favour!" she said, taking out her anger and frustration and Lex's latest weirdness on her friend and cousin, since it was the first topic that came up.

Lex assumed her bitter tone to be because she wanted Clark for herself, but he was wrong, something he would find out very soon. Chloe's affection for the farm boy was practically legendary, and yet here she was in lingerie and little else for his benefit. Though this kind of relationship was seldom if ever built on foundations of true love, she and Clark must've found a serious rift developed between them for her to turn to Lex for comfort. What was also baffling the former billionaire was why he, the husband of the much sought after Lana Lang, would turn to the blonde reporter. Of course he ought to already know the answer to that one, deep down he'd harboured a desire for this young woman for a while now. At first she was too young, and then too unavailable. The thought of taking Lana from Clark when their friendship turned sour was just too enticing. Now that word took on a whole new meaning as he moved up behind Chloe and reached a hand to her shoulder, just at the very moment she chose to turn sharply and face him, spilling her half glass of red wine down his shirt.

"Oh, great" she sighed, "Today so isn't going like I planned..." she said as she put the now empty glass down and put a hand to her head like this whole thing was causing a pain she could do without.

"Chloe" he said softly, his fingers pushing her blonde hair from her face as he urged her to look at him.

When their eyes met, their lips followed, and without a thought they were back in the moment that neither was sure how to get out of; in all honesty, neither of them were trying very hard anyway. Whilst Chloe seemed to know what to expect in this situation, Lex was a little overcome by both her enthusiasm, and moreso by his own at this point. It only occurred to him briefly before he felt himself starting to lose control once again, in that beautifully frightening and thrilling way.

Pushing her robe from her shoulders was deliberate, walking her backwards towards the open bedroom door, hands and lips never giving up contact, that part was far more subconscious.

What should've snapped Lex back to reality, as they fell haphazardly onto the bed, passion overtaking them, in fact only encouraged him to continue in his pleasure.

"Oh, Lex" Chloe gasped, lips close to his ear, "I love you"

On automatic, without a thought he answered her in kind as they satisfied their craving for each other. Afterwards he would never be able to explain those words he'd spoken, and yet, the only thing he would find more difficult than an explanation, was caring enough to find one.

_To Be Continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : Time to mix a little real world in with the dreamworld here... Thanx muchly for the reviewage, it makes for a happy Ultra, which in turn makes for faster updates:-)  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see Chapter 1)_**

Chapter 3

Lex was oblivious as he was wheeled into the theatre for surgery. Unaware that his father had demanded a very dangerous operation be carried out that may save his life, but could just as easily bring about his death. The young billionaire was quite literally living in a dream world as the doctor asked someone to cue the carols as he was about to perform some kind of Christmas miracle on the son of Lionel Luthor.

Far from caring what his father was doing, Lex wasn't even thinking of his so-called wife or child, his mind was filled with the same woman that his arms held right now; Chloe Sullivan.

"I guess we should move" she sighed, though she made no move to do so, just remained curled up under his arm, head resting against his chest.

Lex barely heard her speak, never mind took in the words or their meaning. Right now he was in the worst state of shock he'd experienced since he landed here in this odd reality that was so far from his own world he barely recognised it. Making love with Chloe had been real enough, and more amazing than anything he'd ever experienced with any other woman. The sheer amount of women he'd slept with, Lex was what one might call a seasoned professional when it came to sexual activity. Back in the world that he knew, Chloe was practically virginal, and yet here she seemed to know just exactly what she was doing. They must've been doing this a while, he surmised, from the fact she knew just how to please him. Though he might've been worried that she would notice some difference in him, since he didn't remember ever being with her this way before, what really bothered Lex more than the sex was the whispered words spoken during the event.

Luthors didn't love, not really, not in any true sense. Though Lex had often considered he loved Clark like a brother at some point, he never really considered having any kind of real love for a woman, not since his mother had passed away, and that was hardly the same thing as devoting oneself to a woman for the rest of your life in marriage or some such.

Of course, here in this odd world Lex was apparently married to Lana, and therefore must have considered himself in love with her at some point. That he had clearly found to be less than real and at best unstable as he was now finding comfort in the arms of Chloe. What made little or no sense was why when she had professed love for him he had replied with his own declaration. Surely it was just something he'd said in the heat of the moment, and yet she had not seemed surprised, which suggested his other-self, or future-self, whatever this place really was, had said the same thing many times before.

Lex hadn't ever told a woman he loved her in his life and truly meant it, and yet when he said it to Chloe like that, it was this version of him. The semantics of the situation, the sheer craziness he found himself amongst made Lex's head spin. He had no real control here, and that was one thing he hated above all others.

"Lex?" Chloe said with a frown as she lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him.

"What?" he replied absently as he glanced down at her.

"Where did you go?" she asked with a slight smile, "I have never seen you zone out like that before" she noted and Lex cursed the fact that the woman he was having an affair with, whilst beautiful smart and wonderful, was also a reporter and as such noticed everything and was a never afraid to ask questions about it all.

"Do you ever have that feeling like your life has run off without you, and when you finally catch up to it, its not anything like you remember?" he asked, quite honestly not even sure if he understood his own question.

It was amazing to him when Chloe smiled and kissed his lips, before replying.

"Sometimes I think you can read my mind, Lex Luthor" she told him, just as his watch beeped from his wrist, "Damn!" Chloe cursed as she checked out the time, "We really have to move" she said as she begrudgingly rolled away from her lover and out of the bed.

"So, I should go home" Lex said mostly to himself as he too got out of bed and set about re-dressing himself, though honestly Chloe was enough of a distraction putting on her own clothes that he didn't get very far very quickly.

"Will you quit staring" she rolled her eyes as she pulled on her blouse and started buttoning it, "God, anyone would think you never saw me naked"

"Can I help it if you're beautiful?" he shot back with a smile as he concentrated a little more on putting on his own clothes than her putting on hers.

"Ten years on, the verbal judo never dies" she smiled, shaking her head, "Who'd have thought back then we'd end up here?"

"Not me" Lex said truthfully as he fastened his pants and looked around to ensure he'd retrieved all the items of clothing he'd lost in the heat of passion.

"Hey" Chloe said as she walked around the bed to stand in front of him and reached out to fix his rumpled collar, "Did something happen to you today?" she checked a frown creasing her brow, "You just, you seem different"

"I'm sorry" he said as he stared down at her, "I guess I just haven't been sleeping too well" he said, thinking fast of an excuse for any odd behaviour and staring into space.

She seemed to accept it as she put her arms up around his neck and smiled in understanding.

"I know this isn't ideal" she sighed, "but as you've reminded me so many times, you can't just up and leave Lana right now, for Alex's sake. We just have to wait it out" she smiled.

Lex smiled back at her, a little amazed by her attitude. She was putting her life on hold for him, keeping secrets, sneaking around, just to be with him whilst they apparently waited for the right time for him to leave his wife. They'd both considered their options on this one, including his child, which was commendable. Instead of acting purely on instinct, going after what they wanted and damn the consequences, it seemed they'd both grown up enough to realise that sometimes you had to wait, had to play the long game, however long it dragged on.

"You are an amazing woman, Chloe Sullivan" he told her, his hands at her waist as he looked at her.

"I know" she smiled brightly, like the girl he'd once known, eyes twinkling with fun, "but keep on telling me" she urged him, as they kissed.

Both of them knew they had to stop and now, or one thing would lead to another and they'd end up back in bed, forgetting the world and the responsibilities they had outside of this room.

"We really can't" Chloe told him, as Lex's hands slid over her body, making her wish they had time for this, but she was right, they truly didn't, "I already have so much to do before the party tonight" she said, trying to pull away as he continued to kiss her neck.

"What party?" he asked, sounding only half-interested, distracted still by her body.

"Come on, Lex" she protested, physically pushing him away now with a faux-annoyed look, "It's not fair on Clark and Lois, or the Kents if we don't show" she reminded him, as she grabbed up her purse and pulled out a makeup bag, fixing her eyes and lips, then straightening out her hair.

Lex stared at her without rally seeing. He had to attend a party tonight, for the sake of the Kents, and Clark and Lois who were apparently together now and close to marriage. As odd as it may seem that he himself was married to Lana and yet cheating with Chloe, the concept of Clark marrying Miss Lane was a fiercer shock. They didn't seem to fit together at all, though Lex had to admit he'd barely seen the two of them together. He and Clark hadn't been on the best of terms for a while now and he had no particular reason to be spending time with Chloe's cousin. He hadn't even seen much of Chloe lately in what he was now calling 'the real world' in his head. It seemed here, he couldn't get enough of her.

"Usual escape plan?" she asked suddenly snapping Lex from his daze, "Me first, you in ten minutes when the coast is clear?"

"Sure, right" he nodded dumbly, barely reacting when she briefly kissed his lips and walked away.

Alone in the apartment, Lex ran a hand over his bald head and contemplated what had happened here. His life it seemed had been turned almost completely upside down and he hadn't a clue what to make of it. Gaining control over this thing he called life had to be the plan, and yet Lex really wasn't sure where to start. All he knew for sure was that it was Christmas Eve, he was unhappily married to Lana Lang with a small child named after himself. In his free time he was sleeping with the local reporter, Chloe Sullivan, whom he was apparently in love with, and his old best friend Clark Kent was set to marry the firecracker that was Chloe's cousin, Lois Lane.

Expelling a breath, Lex perched himself on the edge of the bed in which he had just conducted his extra-marital activities. At least there was little or nothing else that could surprise him here. Nothing was going to be as shocking as the day's events so far, he was certain.

* * *

"Oh God" Chloe gasped as Clark told her the dreadful news, "I mean, my God, Clark, I know Lex is no saint but... they really think there's a chance he won't make it?" 

"I don't know exactly" her friend told her as they sat down together in the Daily Planet office, "I only know what my Mom told me, and she said Lionel didn't make much sense on the phone" he explained.

"Lionel doesn't lose it that easily" Chloe shook her head, "Which means this has to be serious" she said, feeling very weird suddenly.

It was odd. The last time she and Lex had any kind of conversation they were yelling at each other, in fact it was the last few times they'd faced each other. He was now Clark's enemy in some ways, mostly because of his investigations into the alien boy. Chloe wanted to side with Clark on this one, be just as mad at Lex for his lies as he was, but it was hard. She'd done her own fair share of digging until she finally learnt her best friends secret. Lex had considered Clark like the brother he was missing from his life, and he knew not a thing about the younger man's true heritage.

"Chloe?" Clark said again when she didn't reply the first twice, "Are you okay?" he checked.

"Er, yeah, sure" she lied, feeling strange still.

She couldn't hate Lex, he really hadn't given her reason to. Yes, they had yelled and he'd grabbed her and got a little threatening that one time but they'd been allies much more often than enemies these past four years and more. Now that ally, that kind of friend, the man that had once saved her life, he could die, and on Christmas Eve too.

Though she would spend her evening with Clark, sorting presents for orphans and smiling appropriately, Chloe would be on auto-pilot the entire time. Whilst it seemed Clark could be flippant about the pain of his ex-best friend, Chloe couldn't shake the thought of Lex from her mind, what a loss he would be to the world in the long run, what a loss he might really be to her own life.

_To Be Continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Thanx so much for all the reviews and kind comments. Everyone both here and at have been so great, welcoming me back to the fandom and the ship with open arms :-)**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 4

It was the night before Christmas and all through the Daily Planet building, not a creature was stirring, except for Chloe Sullivan and her over-active brain! Whilst the young reporter sorted through great piles of presents for the local underprivileged kids, all of which Clark was trying desperately to get delivered in one night, a la Santa, Chloe couldn't help thinking about one person who, despite his riches, was a less-fortunate person tonight.

As awful as Chloe knew Lex could be, as cold and calculating as he sometimes seemed, he had been such a good friend to Clark and even to her for the most part. All that stuff between herself and Lionel Luthor, Lex had waded in and pretty much saved the day. She had no doubt she'd be dead by now if not for him, and not just because of that one situation either. There were other times when the mansion had been her sanctuary, when the mostly unpopular billionaire had been the one she turned to.

Now he was lying somewhere in a hospital bed, his life apparently ebbing away, and who would be there for him? Chloe suspected Lionel may be, but if anything more important came up, and she was sure he considered many things more important than his son most of the time, he'd be out of that hospital and away before anybody could say severe gun-shot wound.

As Chloe contemplated the pile of gifts before her, and the lonely Christmas she must spend this year, she had the strangest urge to go see Lex. It wasn't right that anyone should be alone at Christmas, or worse alone and dying. He was, by some awful circumstance, in both these positions, and being a decent human being alone made Chloe want to do something about that. The fact she knew the man in question and had even considered him a friend made her reasons to want to be at his side right now doubly strong. Then there was the Lana issue.

It hadn't really occurred to her to see Lex in that light, not for a long time. Whilst Chloe considered him attractive in an unconventional way and knew he was charming and with a sense of humour when you got him talking, it hadn't been until Lana took a passing interest in the young Mr Luthor that our Miss Sullivan had really taken a long hard look at her own feelings for Lex. To say she was in love with him would be ludicrous, she certainly didn't know him well enough for that, but she liked him, maybe a little more than she really should. Though her love remained for Clark, she knew that ship had sailed, even if the pill was hard to swallow, and in any case she wasn't so very certain she could say she was in love anymore. The more time went on, the more she suspected a high school girl's crush was all she'd ever really had, and fear of losing the best friend she'd ever had. Of course when she looked into her future she'd like to see Clark there, but strangely, she always saw Lex, even if were not in an obvious position. She couldn't picture any big scene without him present, not anymore, he'd been part of all their lives too long. If nothing else he was a friend, someone that mattered...

"Hello there" said a voice, suddenly pulling Chloe from her thoughts, causing her to spin around so fast she knocked a couple of boxes flying.

"Damn" she cursed as she stopped to pick one up, and the stranger, who was a little less strange now that she looked at him, handed her the other, "Thanks, Santa" she smiled, wondering how or why this street corner charity worker was here, "Er, did you want something or...?"

As the man in the red and white suit explained his presence in the Daily Planet building, Chloe really wasn't sure what to think. Surely he was just some odd drunk, claiming to be the real Santa Claus, after all, it wasn't as if what he said were true. There was no real Santa Claus, that was just a child's fairytale and she told him as much.

"Really, Miss Sullivan" he smiled, stunning her a little since she didn't remember sharing her name with him, "If you don't allow yourself to believe in anything good, however do you expect to be happy?" he asked, the look he gave her speaking volumes more than the simple words.

It was as if he knew what she'd been thinking about all night, wondering if seeing Lex was the right plan. All those hours trying to decide if she should trust his potential for good, as well as her own judgement, her own heart. Santa seemed to think she should, and whilst the word of a man who considered himself to be the real incarnation of a mythical figure ought to mean less than nothing, she knew that it did. She knew because he'd offered to help her out tonight, to deliver the remaining couple of hundred toys and presents. She knew because when she turned around she realised every single gift was gone, and unless he was the leader of a team of burglars so highly trained they were practically invisible as well as lightning fast, Chloe believed she'd just seen a miracle, that she may in fact have met the real Santa Claus.

"One good unexplained phenomenon deserves another" Chloe said to herself with a smile as she scribbled a note for Clark, telling him everything was done and she would explain how later.

She didn't tell him she was going to see Lex, he wouldn't understand that and honestly she wasn't sure how to explain it herself. It was easier to keep just this one secret for now, after all, Clark had kept enough from her over the years, and there was nothing to say there weren't still a few things she didn't know about him.

Tracking down where Lex was being treated wasn't so complicated. Lionel had called the Kent Farm from the hospital, she could easily trace that call via the computer and figure out his location. All at once Chloe found herself grabbing her purse and practically running out of the Planet to catch a cab and travel to the Davis Clinic.

The ride to the hospital felt long and at least three times Chloe considered having the driver turn around and take her home, but she pressed on. A man could die tonight, alone and on Christmas Eve. It was all so wrong to her, and she was not about to let it happen. Though she used questionable means to get a story sometimes or to cover for her best friends abilities or origins, deep down Chloe saw herself and a good and decent person. Maybe Lex saw that same spark of good in himself, and just needed others to see it too, if he was ever going to be a really good kind of man, instead of turning into his questionable father.

Getting into the hospital, Chloe found, was easy enough, but she knew actually getting to Lex would be more difficult. Now came the time for a little of that acting she seemed so good at, one or two of those white lies that often landed her in trouble but ended up being worth it in the end.

"Hi, I'm looking for my fiancé" she told the nurse at the desk, pertaining an agitated state, "I got a call to say he'd been shot and... oh my God, is he okay? Please tell me he's okay!" she practically begged the nurse, summoning a couple of tears that came on a little too easily as she acted her ass off.

"Okay, I need your name, and your fiancé's name" the nurse said calmly, trying to get this young blonde calmed down too.

Chloe gave her name and Lex's too, and before she knew it she was standing outside his room, being talked to by a kindly doctor who clearly believed every word she said. She was starting to wonder if he was more worried about her than about his patient, until he explained the situation that made Chloe want to cry for real.

"Lex suffered some major internal bleeding" the Doctor explained, "As we told Mr Luthor, his father" he clarified, "We believe we've saved him from paralysis but... I'm sorry Miss Sullivan, it may yet cost him his life"

"Oh my God" Chloe gasped, "The operation..."

"Was a success, as I say, to save his mobility" he nodded, "but it was all a large strain on his heart and his brain. I'm afraid Lex is in a comatose state, Miss Sullivan. I can't tell you for certain when or if he'll ever come out of it"

Her eyes widening to the point where they almost rolled clean out of he head, Chloe glanced through the glass panel in the door and took in what she'd been told. Lex really could die, and nothing else could really be done to help him. It seemed when Lionel was told the news he couldn't bear it either and had left to find other doctors, other ways and means of saving his son. From what this doctor said, it was unlikely he'd ever find anything useful.

As she was left alone and told she could sit with Lex as long as she wanted, Chloe put her hand to the doorknob, took a deep breath and went inside...

* * *

The front door opened and Lex was surprised to see Chloe on the other side, though he smiled politely and didn't let any emotion slip.

"Lex, Lana" his secret lover grinned as she welcomed the guests to the party, and Clark and Lois soon appeared to thank the couple for coming.

"We wouldn't miss it" Lana told them as she hugged first Clark then Lois and they got into conversation.

Lex and Chloe shared a look over their friends heads, and he recalled the box that lie waiting in the inside pocket of his jacket. He'd found it when he was trying to find his keys this evening, hidden in the bottom of a drawer that supposedly Lana never looked in, and with a carefully penned note as to what it was and why he wanted Chloe to have it. Though he'd brought that letter with him too tonight, he didn't plan on needing to give it to Chloe, he wanted to tell her all it had to say himself.

He wished he could just present it to her now, tell her how he felt about her, just like they had earlier that day. Unfortunately he must play the happy husband with Lana first, and perhaps later he and Chloe would get a moment alone.

Lana was almost as good an actress as the blonde, he noted, as she faked a smile and told him sweetly she was going to talk to some friends and would see him later. The smile he once loved so much was now as forced and cold as any he'd ever seen. Little wonder after their argument that had started at the house and continued on in the car. She just didn't seem to be happy with any aspect of their life anymore, and the more he heard about it, the more Lex understood why. It seemed as though he wasn't exactly thrilled by the situation either.

"Ah, Lex" Jonathan Kent was suddenly at his side, patting him on the back, and offering him a drink, pulling him from his deep thoughts about the women in his so-called life.

Later he would have to find a moment alone with Chloe and then face Lana when it was time to go home. Right now, it seemed he was in the role of the son that Jonathan Kent never had, and that at least felt good.

* * *

When he stepped out onto the porch for some air, Lex had expected to be alone, he had even hoped to be, and yet he was not disappointed to find he had company.

"Having a good time, son?" said a voice and Lex spun around to see the apparition of his mother standing there.

"I don't know" he shook his head, looking confused, "I have friends and family, I should be happy, but it's clear Lana isn't, and then there's Chloe…"

"Everything will become clear, Lex" she promised him, moving to stand before him, just inches away, "Surely you wouldn't expect your life to work itself to happiness so easily" she smiled wryly, "Things are never so simple"

"You really believe my life can end happily ever after, Mom?" he asked her, suddenly feeling so much like the little boy she had long since had to leave behind.

"I know that it will, my darling" she said with a tear in her eye as her hand reached for his face, "If you make the right choices" she whispered, her fingers barely making contact with his cheek before she was suddenly gone from view.

Lex looked around but she was completely gone, vanished into thin air.

"Looking for me?" said a voice suddenly, but it was not the woman he'd really been seeking, and yet he was more than pleased to see her.

"Chloe" he smiled as she crept out to join him on the porch, propping her glass of champagne next to his on the railing.

"I know I said that earlier was your present but…" she said, checking no-one was around, before sliding a small box out of her purse, "I almost didn't buy it, I don't want to make things more awkward for you but you know me, I couldn't help myself" she rolled her eyes at her own silly ways as she handed the gift to Lex.

"Thank you" he smiled back at her as he too checked the coast was clear, before popping open the box to reveal a stylish pen.

"I know you're not in such big business these days" Chloe rambled off an explanation, "but I still think you deserve the best" she told him, "Besides you can keep it at work, and nobody ever has to know where you got it" she said, as Lex studied the beautiful silver plated item, with his full name inscribed down the side in a fancy font.

"It's a wonderful gift, Chloe" he told her honestly, leaning in to kiss her briefly on the lips, "I only hope that you like yours as much" he said then as he reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and handed her an even smaller box than she'd given him, what was inside, however, would mean the world.

Chloe felt like crying when she opened the box to reveal a beautiful locket with her initials engraved on the front. Inside resided two photographs, one each of herself and Lex.

"It was my mothers" he explained as she covered her mouth with her hand and fought tears, "I had it engraved, but as you said, nobody has to know where it came from and even Lana doesn't know that I had it so..."

"Lex, I don't know what to say" Chloe shook her head, voice cracking with emotion.

"Just tell me you love me, and that everything is going to work out" he urged her, and she nodded her head.

"You know I love you, Lex" she whispered, half because she didn't want to be heard and half because the words just wouldn't come at any other volume right now, "And it has to end up okay, it has to" she said, just as Clark appeared at the door.

"What has to end okay?" he asked, looking between his two friends.

"The book that Chloe has been reading" Lex said, thinking quickly, just like he always did, "There's been quite a lot of tragedy and confusion in the lives of the lead characters, but I'm sure there will be a happy ending eventually" he half-smiled as his eyes moved from Clark to Chloe, who nodded dumbly, having understood his double meaning entirely.

"Okay then" Clark nodded, wondering how a conversation about a book could've got quite so serious, but then Christmas could be an emotional time in both a good and a bad way, so he didn't question it, "Chloe, Lois was looking for you. Something about a story for the Planet" he shook his head, "I swear she never stops working, not even for Christmas!"

"You sure you still want to marry this woman, Clark" Lex smirked as he followed Chloe and his friend back into the house, "All work and no play..." he said, but Clark just laughed it off as the pair returned to the party.

Lex spared one last glance back at the porch, in particular at the spot where his mother had stood. He still didn't really understand why he was here or what this apparition of the future was supposed to achieve, but he was determined to work it out, before it was too late.

_To Be Continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Thanx for the reviews :-) Now time for a plot twist...**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 5

Chloe sat in the sterile room and for a moment wondered why she was here. It was Christmas Eve and yet there were no signs to tell her so. The plain drab walls, ceiling, and floor made the small room feel like a prison cell, somewhere that life was supposed to be miserable and then end. Those thoughts brought unfamiliar tears back to her eyes as she realised how real her thoughts had been, how in actuality this room had probably borne witness to many a lost life, and would still see more.

"But not today" she said softly to herself as she looked down at Lex lying on the bed in front of her.

Far from the business tycoon, all powerful and mighty, he looked terribly fragile right now. Lex always showed how much older he was than her and Clark and everyone, all superior and important. Now he looked so young somehow, and so much more easily breakable. Save for the telltale signs of tubes and bandages, there didn't appear to be anything wrong with him at all. Chloe observed that he might just as easily been sleeping than in a comatose state, but she knew the truth.

The beeping of the machine above the bed told her that he was still with her so far, still a part of the world in a physical sense at least, just so long as the green wave kept pulsing and the high pitched sound kept signalling to her that his heart was beating. It was supposed to be cold and hard like steel, that heart that was beating now to keep Lex Luthor alive. Nobody believed him capable of love or even any type of kindness, but Chloe knew better. He could be a good friend, a good man, if only people gave him that chance, she was sure of it. He'd done bad and questionable things, but to find a single man or woman on the planet that had not would be a far bigger ask than anything else.

Feeling oddly compelled to bring comfort to this man, even in his unconscious state, Chloe gingerly reached out a hand and curled her fingers around his own.

"Lex?" she said softly, too quiet even for her own liking as she cleared her throat and started over, "Lex, It's Chloe" she told him, "I know I'm probably the last voice you expected to hear… assuming that you can hear me" she said uncertainly, "but… well, I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you alone, not on Christmas Eve, not when…" she said, feeling ridiculously emotional again and swallowing hard as she tried not to bawl like a baby, "Well, y'know, its silly, because you're going to be fine" she said, forcing a smile through her tears, "You're the strongest man I know" she told him, squeezing his hand, "You have come through so much in your life, this is just another step" she said firmly, wishing she wasn't the only one in this conversation, if only so she had a moment to think of something else sensible or useful to say.

As it was there was only Chloe able to speak and she was the only one around who had even cared enough to come here and do what she could for a dying man. If he could hear her, she hoped it wouldn't matter what she was saying. He would at least know that someone, somewhere cared enough whether he lived or died, that he might know it was worth holding on.

"Lex, I know we haven't always been the best of friends" she told him with a sniff, "but you have to know that you mean something to me. You got me out of too many jams, and we just… we understand each other, don't we?" she asked pointlessly since he was of course unable to respond at all.

"You know this verbal judo thing is a lot easier with you in this state, Mr Luthor" she joked for lack of knowing what else to say, and in a vain attempt to stop herself from continuing crying, "but I'd rather be fighting with you, I'd rather have you here and calling me any names you want or telling me to stay out of your business, just to have you here, Lex" she told him emotionally, "I know its going to take a miracle for you to come around and be okay, but miracles do happen, Lex. Miracles sometimes happen" she told herself as much as him as she gripped his hand tight between both of hers.

Her head dropped onto the bed beside him as she cried a while and then tried to find some composure. She still didn't quite understand why she was feeling Lex's probable loss so strongly, all she knew was that he had to live, and since she was the only one here to encourage him to do that, she would as best she could.

Though she doubted her presence would make that much difference, she had to believe it might, and in that moment she truly did believe that, as she felt a movement at her fingers.

"Lex?" she said, with a sharp intake of breath as she sat up suddenly, "Lex?" she repeated as she stared hard at his hand in hers and saw his fingers twitch definitely.

Repeating his name elicited just one more tiny movement before their party trick seemed to fail and the room was once again silent and its occupants still. Chloe was nonetheless encouraged by what had happened and jumped up from her seat to call the doctor and tell him she thought Lex was closer to coming around than they actually thought. So engrossed was she in finding said doctor, she really didn't notice that outside the window, snow had started to fall.

* * *

The snow was starting to fall pretty fast as the Luthors left the Kent farm later in the evening. Lex glanced back just once, under the pretence of throwing a wave over his shoulder to Clark and Lois. His eyes, however, belonged to Chloe, who shot a winning smile back at him. He would have loved to spend Christmas with her instead of Lana, and yet there was his son to consider and so many other things. How he was ever supposed to be truly happy in this world, he couldn't fathom, and yet his mother seemed to think it were possible.

Lex didn't realise quite how long he'd been standing there, just staring back at the farm house and thinking, until Lana spoke to him from her place now inside the car. She was in the drivers seat when he glanced her way, a sensible option he realised since he'd had at least three glasses of wine. Though he assumed she was in a more sober state, and she certainly looked as if she were, he did not know for certain. They'd spent barely a few moments in each others company since arriving at the Kent farm.

"Get in the car, Lex" she said sharply as she wound the window down just enough so that he would hear her.

Not one to be told what to do, but knowing he had little option but to do as she said, else walk home from here in the cold and icy conditions, Lex shot her steely glare before moving around to climb into the car beside her. He'd barely closed the door before Lana put her foot on the gas and swung around the corner, off down the bumpy road.

"Maybe you should slow down, Lana" he advised as the snow pounded on the windshield, harder and harder as they travelled too fast.

"Maybe you want to stop thinking that you own me, Lex" she snapped back at him, her tone too harsh to belong to the sweet fairy princess he'd known her to be so long ago.

Lana had become so cold and hard in this world, Lex didn't wonder why he sought comfort and love in the arms of another. He couldn't help but wonder though, if he had done this to her, if Lana had become this woman he barely recognised because of the way he had treated her. Lex did not usually blame himself so easily and yet, he knew very well how much influence he had on people, how he had the anti-Midas touch so often, bringing everything he touched to dust and ash. Had he made this stone devil-woman, out of the girl that was once Smallville's own angel? He was given no more chance to think about it, as the car was swung sharply to the side of the road, pulling up to a screeching halt.

"Lana, what are you doing?" Lex demanded to know as she leant across him and pushed open the door.

"Get out, Lex" she said simply, "Get out of the car and then I'll do us both a favour and get out of your life" she told him, with a shake in her voice that Lex wasn't sure should be attributed to sadness, anger, or something entirely different.

"Lana what are you talking about?" he asked her, remarkably calmly considering the fact it was highly likely she knew of his affair.

Still, if that were the case, surely she would say so, or would've mentioned it before. Unless she didn't know until now, or was merely guessing at his infidelity. Lex didn't know exactly what was going through her mind, but when Lana turned icy eyes upon him, colder and sharper than even the winter wind that blew in through the open car door, he knew at least that she meant what she said. She wanted him away from her, and she was quite happy to drive far away from him too. Though that seemed fine on paper, there would be consequences, not least regarding his son and the fact it was just minutes from Christmas Day.

"Lana, I don't understand" he told her, as honestly as he'd ever said anything in his life, "What happened to us?" he asked in earnest, asking that which neither he nor any other version of himself could ever understand.

One lone tear fell from his wife's eyes, trickling down her left cheek as she turned her eyes to the road ahead and sniffed.

"We made the wrong choices, Lex" she told him, "And for all the wrong reasons"

Hearing her speak of choices that way reminded him of his mothers words, the things she had told him each time he saw her appear to him here in this alternate world. Choices he had made, choices he would make, they affected the very fabric of his life to come. Being with Lana was wrong, he could see it now, though back in his real life it seemed so right.

Knowing there was little point in staying, Lex got out of the car on automatic and pushed the door closed behind him. His face pressed against the glass of said door, he stared in at a woman he had presumed himself in love with and she stared back, shaking her head sadly, before driving away.

Abandoned at the side of the road, by his wife who he no longer felt he knew, Lex pulled his coat tighter around his body, to block out the snow and the cold. Lana's tail-lights disappeared around the next bend, as Lex forced his hands into his pockets and contemplated where he went from here. He half expected his mother's face to appear before him once again, but it didn't. That was not to say he did not get a surprise as he stood there alone, save for his confusion.

Inside his coat pocket his fingers made contact with something, a piece of paper perhaps. Pulling out the item, Lex discovered an envelope, his name written on the front in Lana's own hand.

Looking out at the road to where she had gone, Lex started to realise that this had been her plan. At some point she had written the words that resided in the envelope he held now. She'd planned to leave him standing here, to drive away and leave him on Christmas Eve. So cold and calculating, Lana had become, and for the life of him Lex wished he knew how.

With shaking hands that he put down to the cold rather than any type of emotion, Lex opened up the envelope that bore his name and pulled out the two pieces of paper that resided within, one staying in his hand the other sliding to the snowy ground at his feet. Though he stooped to pick it up, he paid no mind to what it said as he read the letter Lana had written for him, her apparent goodbye, complete with explanation.

_Lex,_

_I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but we both know that it's time to let go. We're not happy, Lex. Sometimes I wonder if we ever really were, and living this lie is achieving nothing, expect bringing pain to us all. I don't want my son to live with all this anger. I don't want to do it to myself either._

_There were so many lies, and so many wrong choices, Lex. If we could have our time again, I hope we would know to make better decisions. Of course, it is too late now, far too late._

_This has to be goodbye, Lex, and it has to be forever._

_I'm so sorry._

_Lana'_

Though her words ought to mean nothing in light of his affair and his apparent love for another woman, it still tore at his insides to be left and abandoned by yet one more person he had once loved. What hurt more in fact was when Lex opened the second piece of paper he held in his hand.

Now he understood her talk of lies, and need for apologies. It wasn't he who had been the only strain on their relationship, the only problem in their lives. Lana was not the Snow White figure she had once been because she had never been that woman at all, it seemed. The copy of Alex's birth certificate in his hand proved that once and for all. Despite being his namesake, Alex was not Lex's son.

_To Be Continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I had some problems with this chapter, I rewrote parts of it that I didn't think were right the first time - here's hoping its good enough now :-) Thanx as always to everyone who keeps on reviewing:-)**

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see Chapter 1)**_

Chapter 6

Lex wasn't sure what he was doing, all he knew was that he felt alone and lost, even moreso than he had since first dropping into this odd world that was not his own. He had plenty of people to turn to here, of course. The Kents treated him like the son they never had, and Clark and Lois would welcome him with open arms, he was sure. Still Lex knew there was only one person whose arms he wanted around him right now, only one person who would understand completely how he felt and be there for him. He wasn't ashamed to need her help and support, though be would shy away from the helping hands of others.

Scrolling through the numbers on the cell phone from his pocket he selected her name, trudging through the snow and fighting the angry wind, not really knowing what direction he was headed in. His house was not home, the mansion had long since ceased to be a part of his life…

"Chloe" he said when she answered his call, his voice sounding odd in her ear.

"Lex?" she began with a frown, puzzled as to how or why he was calling her right now, she was half way between the Kent farm and home when her cell started to ring. She would've ignored it completely since she was driving, but when she saw Lex flash up on the screen she couldn't help but take the call. He ought to be at home with his wife, tucking his son into bed with tales of Santa's visit and all. His calling her instead, far from being an unpleasant surprise, made her smile at first, until she realised something might be wrong, "I wasn't expecting…"

"Chloe, I need to see you" he told her, not even letting her finish her own sentence, "Can you meet me, at the apartment?" he asked her.

"Er, yeah, of course" she agreed, nodding pointlessly since he couldn't see at all, "but Lex, is everything okay?"

"Not exactly" he said with a humourless laugh, the pain of which emanated in her ear, "but it will be, when I can see you" he said, before hanging up and trudging on through the storm.

Flinging her cell back onto the passenger seat, Chloe quickly but carefully turned the car around and headed for the Talon. She couldn't imagine what had got Lex into such a state. Part of her wondered if he'd told Lana the truth about their affair, or maybe she'd found out for herself, but it seemed unlikely. Besides, it was Christmas Eve night, and with the fundamental reason for Lana and Lex staying together so long being Alex, it seemed ludicrous that either one of them would consider ruining this very special holiday for him.

Pulling her car around the back of the Talon building, Chloe fumbled with her keys and hurried up to the apartment. Lex wasn't there yet, and she wasn't entirely surprised. After all, the noise of the weather through the phone when he called sounded as if he were walking. Standing by the window of the apartment she watched the snow grow heavier and the wind stronger as she began to worry even more. Now she not only had whatever problem Lex was having to consider, but also the fact he could freeze to death just getting here to meet her if he really was on foot in such weather.

Suddenly she heard movement by the door and Chloe rushed to open it. In that moment, Lex practically fell in on her, exhausted and frozen, craving both the warmth and comfort of her embrace. In silence they stood for some time just holding onto each other, the pair of them shaking, in equal measure from the cold and the emotions that ran through then, Lex feeling the pain and confusion of Lana's exit from his life as well as the truth of Alex not being his child, whilst Chloe shook from fear and worry over what was really happening here.

When they finally pulled apart and faced each other, they were both a little surprised to find the other with tears in their eyes. Neither of them were exactly the crying kind and yet they couldn't help it.

"Lex, you're scaring me" Chloe admitted with shake in her voice, "What happened to you?" she asked as he looked away a moment and then back to meet her eyes.

"Lana left me" he told her, finding easier just to hand over the pieces of paper he still had in his hand, as he moved past Chloe and sat down at the counter.

With a frown on her face, the blonde watched him walk by her and take a seat, pouring out a glass of scotch from the abandoned bottle on the table. There was very little they kept in the apartment, but that bottle and a pair of glasses were always there. Right now, more than ever, Lex looked as if he could use the drink and was more than a little grateful for its presence.

Still confused, Chloe unfolded the papers in her hand and read first Lana's words to the husband she had left behind, and then the birth certificate that was as much a shock to her as it had been to Lex.

"How could she...?" Chloe began to say, as Lex looked over at her and shook his head in the negative - he had no idea.

"I don't know" he said, looking better somehow for a few moments peace, for her presence, and for the drink he'd just consumed, "All I know is that for once I can't be made the only villain in all this" he said, getting up and walking back over to Chloe once again.

"Of course you're not a villain, Lex" she swore to him, and he couldn't help the half smile that found its way to his lips.

In the real world, everybody was so quick to condemn him, to think the worst. Had his affair with Chloe come out sooner it would have happened again as all assumed he was the bad guy, cheating on the fairy princess who could do no wrong. But no, not here, not this time. Lex was quite determined that everyone should know it was Lana that struck the first blow, she who had seemingly cheated on him and coerced him into a marriage that was wrong just so her illegitimate child would have a father.

"Chloe" Lex said softly, his cold hand going to her warm cheek, "I have to admit that knowing what I've lost hurts" he told her, hating the pain he saw flicker in her own eyes then, "but knowing what I have to gain, the emotion that brings is so much stronger" he promised her, as those undefined tears in her eyes finally spilled over her lashes and down her cheeks, "I love you, Chloe"

"I love you, Lex" she swore as they wrapped their arms around each other and held on tight, "And everything is going to be okay, better than okay, I swear" she told him, and they kept up their grip on each other, as outside the snow continued to fall past the town clock tower that proclaimed it was midnight, and therefore Christmas Day.

* * *

"I'll get it!" Clark called as the family's present opening was interrupted by a knock on the door.

He couldn't imagine who would be calling, since Lana was away with her Aunt, and Chloe was at Lex's bedside. Though neither of these facts thrilled him, Clark was still like an idiot with a Santa hat on his head that he'd quite forgotten was there as he moved to greet whomever was beyond the door. He was quite surprised to see Lois there on the other side, and the shock showed on his face.

"Hey, Smallville" she said with a forced smile, her arms wrapped around her own body as she shivered against the elements.

Though the snow had slowed and the wind blew with less ferocity, it was still very cold outside, and she was clearly feeling it.

"Lois" Clark said with surprise, "Er, what are you doing here?"

"Well, y'know I was supposed to be spending the day with my cousin, but Chloe left me a message last night saying she couldn't make it, and with my Dad so far away and all I..." she said awkwardly, "I kind of had no place else to go, Clark" she admitted, stomping her feet around in an attempt to stay warm, "And whilst I'm not loving the idea of crashing somebody else's family Christmas, I gotta say I was hoping..."

"Come in, Lois" Clark smiled at her, opening the door wider and then closing it quickly just as soon as she was inside.

"Huh, interesting" she said, looking at him with a strange look in her eyes, "Well, I expected your parents to welcome me with open arms, but you..."

"Hey, nobody said there had to be open arms" he pointed out to her as he poured out a cup of hot coffee and handed it to her, "but it's Christmas and you have no place else to go. Nobody deserves to be alone, today of all days"

"Ever the good Samaritan, Smallville" Lois smirked as she thanked him for the coffee and followed him through to the living room where his parents were together by the tree.

"Lois, honey, we weren't expecting to see you today" Martha greeted her, jumping up to give her a hug, "Goodness, you're freezing, come sit by the fire" she urged her, making space for her to sit down amongst the wrapping paper and ribbons that were strewn around.

"I'm sorry to crash" she apologised once again to Martha and Jonathan, "Its just with Chloe still in Metropolis, I just... I guess Christmas alone just didn't appeal"

"Well, of course it didn't" Clark's father agreed, "You know you are always welcome here, Lois. You're practically family anyway"

"Thanks, Mr Kent" she smiled gratefully, holding her mug of coffee with two hands to warm all her fingers as she sipped her drink, "Oh, and I didn't come empty handed. I have a bag in the car with your presents in it"

"Oh, sweetheart, you didn't have to do that" Martha assured her, but Lois explained that she'd bought them anyway, she just hadn't known when she'd get the opportunity to hand them over.

Clark was quickly dispatched by his father to get Lois' bag from her car to save her facing the elements again and Martha took the short break in festivities as an opportunity to tidy up some.

"Clark told us that Chloe was with Lex Luthor at the hospital" Jonathan said to Lois and she nodded in reply, "I personally would've thought Christmas with her family would be more important than scum like him"

"Jonathan" his wife shot him an unimpressed look and her tone matched it quite well.

"I'm sorry, honey, but Lex isn't exactly the greatest of men" he reminded her, "and I can't imagine why a nice girl like Chloe would waste her Christmas worrying about him"

"I don't know" Lois shook her head, "I think she's always had kind of a soft spot for him" she considered, "I never did figure out why but... well, as mad as I could be at her for leaving me stranded, I kind of understand" she admitted, "What's Christmas for if not forgiveness and love?"

* * *

Lex couldn't sleep, though he was as happy and content as he could ever be, here in the apartment, arms wrapped around the woman he adored and could now be with since the wife he no longer cared for and the son that was not his own had left him behind. He and Chloe could be together here; he could love and be loved without fear, without worry, or anything. This was some kind of dreamworld, it had to be, and yet if this was his life now somehow, Lex didn't think he would mind at all.

The Kents saw him as the son they never had, and he and Clark were best friends again. Chloe at his side, loving him as no woman ever had before, that was the icing on the cake, and so much more. Her presence alone took away so much pain, not just that he had encountered here but so much he had endured over the years of his real life. All that time wanting and waiting for a woman like her, and she'd been right in front of him the whole time. He'd told himself he loved Victoria, Desiree, Helen, a whole string of women that might have made him happy, but each and every time they proved themselves to be liars, and so did he.

After their betrayals, he waited for the unbearable pain that came from loving and losing but it never came. Losing Lana here in this world did not break his heart, and yet he knew without a shadow of a doubt that if he hadn't had Chloe to turn to here in this place, he would be so lost and broken. She was everything to him here, and what was more, he knew he meant equally as much to her. As lost as he would be without her, somehow he knew implicitly that he never would be. She would be the one to stand by him, always.

"You have learnt well, my son" said a voice, and Lex's eyes snapped up to see his mother standing at the end of the bed.

"This life I have here" he said softly for fear of waking his beloved that still rested in his arms, "It looked like it was falling apart, but now... She's all I want, all I need" he said, glancing down at Chloe who slept on.

"And now you see she feels the same" Lillian smiled, "Your life could be as you've seen it, and you can end happily with Chloe Sullivan, as you are now" she explained, "but Alexander, it could be so much simpler than this" she told him, as he frowned at her.

"I don't understand" he admitted, not something Lex Luthor often said and yet this place brought one confusing turn after another.

"Every choice we make, Lex, has a consequence" his mother told him as she walked around the bed to stand beside him, "The events that brought you here were out of your control, but the choice you make from there to here can be changed, this life can be changed, and all you've ever wanted..." she said, eyes shifting to Chloe, "... it can all be yours so much more easily" she smiled, reaching out a hand to Lex's cheek, and barely making contact as she whispered goodbye and the world spiralled into a mess of colours and light.

"No!" Lex yelled, sounding uncharacteristically fearful as his world was turned on its head, "Chloe!" he gasped as he sat bolt upright in bed and realised he was no longer in the apartment that he'd come to recognise.

"I'm here, Lex" came her answer anyway, "You're in Metropolis, at the Davis Clinic" she explained as he turned wide eyes upon the young woman sat by his bed, still gripping his hand in hers, "You've been shot, but you're gonna be alright" she told him as calmly as she could whilst being stunned by his sudden movement and overjoyed by it too.

Lex stared hard at Chloe for a moment, trying to catch his breath. He was going to be alright, that was what she'd said, and yes, he knew he could believe her.

_To Be Continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 7

"Hey, Smallville" Lois called as she came from the bottom of the barn, up the steps to the 'Fortress of Solitude' where Clark was sat alone with a small box held between his hands, "You disappeared on us" she said with a frown that broke through the previously sunny smile, "What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm fine" he told her, forcing a smile as he pushed the badly wrapped Christmas gift he'd been holding into his pocket and got up from his seat.

"Yeah, that's convincing" Lois dead-panned, "You're a lousy liar, Clark Kent, so spill already. Why the long face?" she asked, looking almost genuinely concerned about him.

"I was just thinking about Lana" he sighed, not even looking at Lois as he explained, "We kind of had a fight over where she was spending Christmas and... it was just such a stupid fight and now I don't even get to see her on Christmas Day"

"Well, Christmas isn't just about getting what you want, Clark" Lois told him wisely, "Y'know not that I haven't had a great time here with you and your folks, but I'd like to have spent my day with Chloe or even my Dad. Tough luck for Lois too" she shrugged, making him smile a little because she seemed like she was really genuinely trying to be nice for a change, and she was actually making a pretty good job of it.

"Thanks, Lois" he said, putting a hand to her shoulder, "Y'know just for today, it's been kind of cool to get along"

"Hey, don't go getting mushy on me, Smallville" Lois warned him, playfully punching him in the arm, only to hide the fact she was really touched by his words.

Clark Kent might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he could also be a damn sweet guy, and his hotness was obvious to any woman with eyes. Unfortunately, their eyes had now become locked together and in an attempt to break the moment, Lois looked up, embarrassing herself further since Clark assumed she'd referenced the mistletoe above their heads on purpose.

"My Mom put that there" he said, looking equally as awkward as Lois felt as they stood there, too close together and yet neither moving away for a long moment.

"Merry Christmas, Clark" Lois smiled, breaking with tradition long enough to use his real name as she moved to plant a friendly kiss on his cheek.

She had no idea he was about to do the same thing and the result of the two of them moving in unexpected directions led to them meeting at the lips. It wasn't supposed to be much of a kiss, just a peck for the Season's sake and yet neither of them could explain how they were still in a lip-lock a couple of minutes later, warm tingly feelings running through their bodies that were too nice to give up until they had to.

It was footsteps on the stairs that eventually made them pull apart, wide eyed with shock, amazement, and wonder as they faced each other a moment, before both turning to see Martha appearing at the top of the steps.

"I thought I'd find you two up here" she smiled, "I just had Chloe on the phone. She says Lex is awake and he's going to be okay" she explained with a smile that wouldn't shift, despite the fact she had many a reason not to care for Lex's welfare, she couldn't help it, she just did, "When I told her you were here, Lois, she also apologised again for abandoning you"

"Uh-huh" the younger woman nodded dumbly, glancing from Martha to Clark and back, as her hand went absently to her lips and away again, "I should go see if Mr Kent needs any help with those dishes..." she said, practically running away all of a sudden as Clark stared after her.

"Did something happen here?" Martha asked her son, her eyes following his gaze to Lois' retreating form.

"I'm really not sure" was the only reply Clark could find to give.

* * *

Chloe waited anxiously outside the hospital room as the doctor and nurse poked and prodded around Lex. It was strange, she was eager to be back at his side, which was odd enough in itself, but at the same time she didn't know how to face him. All those things she'd said, they were easy when she knew he couldn't hear her. Now the unsinkable reporter that was Chloe Sullivan found herself feeling a little embarrassed, not an emotion she was really used to.

Brazenness, honesty, and lack of tact was somewhat of a family trait, with herself and Lois being the two most obvious people to always say what they thought, whether it was appropriate or not. Chloe had told Lex all kinds of things that she didn't know how to say to his face, and she wondered why that might be. She could say anything to anyone usually, and the only time words had ever failed her before was trying to admit her feelings of love to Clark, and even then the words had come eventually. It made her seriously question just how deep her feelings for Lex Luthor ran.

They were friends, she cared about whether he lived or died, that much was clear and obvious, but beyond that... well, she found him attractive, smart and witty. The more Chloe went over it in her brain as the minutes she waited felt like hours, she realised the only words that really fit what she felt for Lex was a particularly scary four letter one that could only lead to no good; Love.

Inside the hospital room, she had no idea that Lex's brain was similarly and suitably scrambled. After the psycho dream he had encountered in his unconscious state and then waking up with Chloe at his side as he had, it left him with a whole myriad of unanswered questions and emotions that he wasn't sure how to deal with. That place he'd gone to, some alternate reality future, it had felt so real. Not just the cold of the weather or the warmth of Chloe's lips on his own, but the feelings too, the love and the overwhelming passion. That had been as real as anything he'd experienced in real life, maybe even moreso.

All this time he'd thought he knew what he wanted out of life, Lex now realised he'd been shown all he really wanted. His mother had been perfectly right in her words to him, and he'd been completely truthful for the first time in years when he told her that world was everything he truly desired. With Chloe in his arms and words of love on both her lips and his, knowing he had friends and family to care for him, it was all perfect. Lana left him, the son who was his namesake was not his own, but beyond the initial jab of pain and loss, that was but a distant memory.

To wake and find the literal girl of his dreams at his side had startled Lex more than the fall back to reality. The news he'd been shot was only mildly surprising since he recalled all to clearly the events that led to his beautiful acid-trip type dream world. The muggers, the bullet coming towards him, falling to the concrete as if in slow motion, he remembered it all, and yet thoughts of it inhabited his mind for just a few moments, before he was right back to Chloe.

As doctors checked his vitals, tried to make sure he was stable and comfortable, and congratulated him on being a Christmas miracle, Lex's eyes were almost permanently glued to the door, beyond which he knew she waited. His angel, his saviour perhaps. In his dreams she'd been there to hold him and love him in a time of distress, and in what passed for the real world, here she was again. Despite their arguments and moments of anger, despite him being much kinder to Lana than to her of late, in spite of her loyalty to Clark and his own disintegrating friendship with the farmboy, she was here. Chloe put all that aside to be at his bedside as he fought to hold onto his very existence, and had given up her Christmas to do so.

That was somewhat amazing to Lex, and he planned to tell her so just the moment she was back in the room. It was almost more painful waiting for her return than suffering the after-effects of surgery or a bullet wound through the centre of his body. When the doctor was finally done, there was just the nurse left to leave and when she too made for the door, Lex spoke to her.

"Nurse, can you ask Chloe to...?" he began only to have her interrupt him with a bright smile.

"I'll send your fiancee right back in" she said kindly, "Merry Christmas, Mr Luthor" she said brightly, so pleased not have lost a patient today of all days, especially such a young man with so much to live for, like the pretty young thing beyond the door.

"Hi, Lex" Chloe smiled somewhat nervously as she re-entered the hospital room and he smiled warmly at her, the most genuine smile she'd seen from him in a good long while.

"Chloe" he breathed her name, "I have to say there are things I don't recall during my unconscious state but I'm fairly certain I would remember if I'd proposed marriage to you" he said, that smile sliding into a much more familiar smirk that at least helped Chloe relax some as she moved to sit on the chair beside the bed.

"How else was I supposed to get in here?" she checked, with added eye roll, "Oh yeah, I'm a friend of his ex-best friend, is it okay if I go sit by his bed all night?" she said emphasising the stupidity that would have occurred if she had faced the Reception desk with honesty.

"An excellent point, as always" Lex agreed, "Though I'd like to think that we progressed a little further along than friend of a friend" he said, locking eyes with her, and staring into her own as if he were looking for something deep within.

Of course she had no idea of what he'd dreamt during his comatose state. She had no recollection of those moments spent in each others arms, in bed together, all passion and love that had been so real to Lex. Still, that didn't mean he saw nothing when he looked into her eyes that way, and Chloe knew it too. He was seeing what she had only just realised herself, and she was seeing something equally as shocking - reciprocation of her feelings, at least that was what she thought she saw. Chloe quickly glanced away, telling herself she was a fool. If Clark had been unobtainable, Lex Luthor was doubly so, and it was crazy to think he'd feel anything but respectful friendship for her, at best.

"I guess I must care more about your welfare than most people" Chloe said diplomatically, "I didn't exactly have to fight my way through crowds of well-wishers" she said, immediately wishing she hadn't when she noticed Lex's face fall, "I'm sorry, I didn't.." she began, only to stop sharply, when his hand shot out to cover hers where they rested together on the edge of the bed.

"Chloe, I know I don't exactly have a fanclub in Smallville anymore, if I ever did" he sighed, "but that really doesn't matter to me" he told her sincerely, "What matters is that someone was here, that I mattered enough to you at least to give up your Christmas..."

"There wasn't much to give up" Chloe tried to play down her sacrifice, but he was right and she knew it.

She had come here without too much thought, had let down Lois and abandoned her plans to race to the side of the dying billionaire because... well, because she just had to. Before she hadn't quite known why, now she was starting to feel that she understood, she was starting to realise just exactly how deeply she felt for this man, and how grateful she was that the fates had let him live so he might know it.

"Chloe, my father couldn't even spare enough of his precious time to be at my side as I lay dying" Lex pointed out, an angry edge to his tone, though his eyes softened again almost immediately as he smiled at her, "Your concern for my welfare would be enough to make me count you among my friends, but there has to be more to it than that"

"Lex, we are friends" Chloe told him, swallowing hard as a mixture of tonight's mixed emotions and lack of sleep caught up with her, "After all we've been through together how could we be anything less?" she said with a smile as his hand gripped hers like he needed her to live, like she really was all that had brought him back from the edge, and far from being scary and overwhelming, it felt good to the young reporter who didn't often feel like she was so very important.

"And so the question becomes, Chloe" Lex said carefully, watching her face for the slightest reaction as he spoke, "If we're never to be less the friends, are we destined to be more?"

_To Be Continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 8

"And so the question becomes, Chloe" Lex said carefully, watching her face for the slightest reaction as he spoke, "If we're not ever to be less the friends, are we destined to be more?"

To say she was stunned by the question would be an understatement as the blonde swallowed hard and fought to breathe properly, and Lex continued to stare into her eyes. Though she often pre-empted what might be unexpected to others, this was a situation where even Miss Sullivan felt completely out of her depth.

She wasn't this girl, this was strictly Princess Lana's domain, practically being offered a romantic relationship with the local billionaire moments after he'd returned from the comatose world of the almost-deceased. As was her way, Chloe covered her confusion, panic, embarrassment, and all other mixed up feelings she couldn't deal with, the only way she knew how - with sarcasm and ill-timed humour.

"How heavily sedated are you, Mr Luthor?" she asked him, forcing a laugh at her own joke that didn't quite come out right, "Because I really think you're not thinking straight..."

"On the contrary, Miss Sullivan" he said, following her lead on the use of formal names, his hand gripping hers more tightly when she attempted to retract her fingers from his grasp, "I'm thinking more clearly than I ever have before" he assured her.

"Lex" Chloe sighed, deciding if jokes weren't going to cut it, she'd just have to play it as serious as he seemed to be, "I don't know what it is that you want me to say. I don't even know what I want to say, which has to be a first for me" she said, getting a smirk out of the man that continued to stare at her intently, "All I know for sure is that I couldn't stand the thought of losing you from my life" she admitted, voice shaking with the emotion she had been trying in vain to keep at bay, "I never really thought about it until tonight. Coming here and seeing you like that..." she said, looking down at their joined hands on the edge of the bed, "Knowing you might die, God, Lex, I couldn't stand it" she told him as tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

"Chloe" he said softly, wishing he was more able to reach for her, hold her, comfort her somehow, but as he was stuck in this bed, still hooked to a monitor, it wasn't exactly a simple task, "I can't imagine what you went through, here alone..." he sympathised, but she shook her head, using her free hand to wipe the tears from her face.

"I wasn't alone" she sniffed, finding half a smile, "The point was that neither of us were supposed to be" she told Lex, who nodded slightly in understanding.

"I wish I could say I knew you were here" he said, thoughtfully, "Perhaps I did, perhaps that's what it was all about" he said, with a shake of his head as he once again tried to make sense of all that he had experienced in the past twenty four hours.

"What all what was about?" Chloe asked with a frown, which only served to bring the smile back to Lex's face.

"Ever the reporter, always with a question" he said, looking her way once again, turning serious in a heartbeat he was only to glad to have, "Chloe, do you believe in destiny?"  
"Sure, I guess" she agreed, "Something has to be in control of all this uncontrollable stuff around us"

"I never really thought about it much before" he admitted, "The idea of a force greater than us, of the fates, of guardian angels to watch over us. I wasn't sure I believed in any of it until tonight" he explained, "Chloe, whilst I was in that coma I... I guess I had a dream, but it was more real to me than anything in my life"

"What kind of dream?" she asked, proving what he'd said before was true, she really was always curious and wanting to know more.

"My mother was there" he smiled at the very thought of the parent who had loved him always and unconditionally, and who he lost far too soon, "She showed me a world beyond ours"

"Like heaven?" Chloe asked uncertainly, feeling confused and yet grateful to be hearing of someone else's lack of clarity than deal with her own right now.

"It certainly seemed like it could be at times" he smirked at his own private joke.

Of course the real Chloe who sat here now had no idea of what they had done, what Lex and her own dreamworld counterpart had got up to far away in another Smallville, in a fantasy land she knew nothing of. He wanted to tell her, and yet he wasn't certain he could explain. Perhaps one day, when he'd made sense of it himself he'd be able to tell her, that in itself suggested he wanted his life to be always entwined with hers, but then he'd figured that part out already.

"You know you should probably get some rest" Chloe told Lex when he seemed to completely zone out on her, something he wasn't usually prone to.

She glanced towards the door, contemplating leaving, though she didn't really know where she was going if she did. She wanted to stay here, she wanted to make sure he knew how she felt, all those things she'd said when he couldn't actually hear, but she had no idea where to begin. Chloe was seldom lost for words, and yet right now Lex had reduced her to silence and he probably wasn't even trying that hard to do so. She wondered if he even had a clue he was doing it.

"I think I've been asleep long enough" Lex told her, "And I don't just mean the coma, Chloe. I've been walking through my life, not even seeing what's in front of me. You know they say a Luthor never does anything without an ulterior motive, and if I learnt anything tonight it's that I don't want to be like that, too much like my father"  
"If I thought you were anything like Lionel, I wouldn't be here" Chloe told him firmly, and Lex knew that at least was true.

Chloe understood himself, his father, and their twisted relationship perhaps better than anyone after getting caught in the middle of it one too many times. Despite seeing more of what he was capable of than most had, despite almost everyone seeing only the potential for bad in him, Chloe was still here, still determined to see his good side.

"As pleased as I am to have you here, Chloe" Lex told her seriously, "I can't imagine your friends or family understanding why you felt the need to abandon them for my sake"

"Well, maybe I'm sick of living my life around other peoples thoughts and opinions and secrets" she said snippily, "Lex, I made the choice to be here with you tonight, and I'd make the same one again if I had to" she said firmly, making him smile.

"Every choice we make has a consequence, Chloe" he said, echoing words the apparition of his mother had spoken, "I always knew that, of course, but I don't think I truly understood it until now" he admitted, "One choice you make today, right or wrong, can change your life forever, and I don't want to make the same mistake twice"  
"What mistake?" Chloe frowned, not yet privy to the dream of which Lex spoke.

As much as it was wonderful to have everything work with the two of them in that other world, it had been difficult and painful to get there. Lex wasn't willing to live his life as he had seen it play out in his head, marrying Lana and cheating with Chloe, they all deserved better than that.

"I don't want to live my life successfully but alone" he told her seriously, his eyes locking onto hers once again and sending a delicious shiver down her spine, "I also don't want to gamble everything on a relationship that's doomed from the start. Chloe, if I let you slip through my fingers now... I can't imagine what my life would be without you in it, and I don't plan on finding out"

"Lex" she practically whispered, though she hadn't meant to, Chloe found her voice simply wouldn't function as it should.

She wasn't even sure what she was going to say, and Lex never got the chance to find out as a tap on the door stole their attention and the nurse appeared.

"Excuse me, Mr Luthor, but you have another visitor who insists on seeing you" she said, with a look that Lex knew only too well.

"You can send my father right in, nurse" he told her, trying for a polite smile but failing miserable, since the thought of seeing his father did not thrill him.

"Should I...?" Chloe began, clearly thinking he might want her to go at this point.

"I'd rather you didn't" Lex told her, and far from those demands and orders he was so used to giving, Chloe noticed there was almost a begging look in his eyes.

"Then I'll be here" she said with a smile, remaining in her seat and squeezing the hand she till held.

Somehow they both knew she didn't just mean today and this moment, it all meant so much more than that.

* * *

"Y'know you could stay longer" Clark told Lois shuffling awkwardly as he opened the front door and she stepped outside into cold, "Mom and Dad don't mind..."

"Its okay, Smallville" she smiled, though it didn't quite meet her eyes, "I trespassed on your family Christmas enough already, and if I stay longer I will eat my weight in your Mom's cookies" she admitted, feeling fat enough already after a day of stuffing herself with so much good food.

Of course her problem wasn't so much trying to keep her hands off the remaining edible goodies, but rather keeping her eyes and her mind off Clark Kent. For two people who fought as much as they did, Lois was stunned by how perfect the moment was when they'd done the complete opposite, and kissed beneath the mistletoe in the barn. Since that moment, of course, nothing had felt quite the same, and with Martha and Jonathan always there the two young people hadn't had a chance to share their reactions to that kiss.

"Lois, about what happened in the barn..." Clark said, looking more at his feet than at her.

"Clark, come on, it's not a big deal" Lois shrugged, though she was lying completely.

She'd never had a kiss with anyone quite like that moment she'd shared with the farmboy. If he hadn't been so in love with Lana and she didn't have more sense, she knew she'd be jumping at the chance to explore the possibility of whatever was between them.

"Right" Clark nodded his agreement, and yet he too was wondering if that was exactly true.

Lana was supposed to be the love of his life, and yet they fought so much lately. He and Lois did little but fight too, but theirs were more playful banter than real arguments, and that kiss had blown his mind. He never knew he could feel like that with anyone, but there was little he could do about it, even if he wanted to.

"And if you were worrying or whatever" Lois waved her hand in a vague gesture, "I'm not gonna go around telling the world about our little moment" she assured him, "We don't want people thinking we actually like each other or anything, right, Smallville?" she said, trying to make a joke as she faked punching him in the arm.

Unfortunately the intense look that passed between them obliterated the humour from the situation in one fell swoop.

"Right" Clark said again, realising too late that he was beginning to sound all too moronic in his monosyllabic state, "Y'know, Lois, we could try to... I dunno, maybe be friends?" he suggested, hands shoved in his pockets as he shuffled his feet and barely kept eye contact with her.

Lois stared at him for a long moment. She could do the friends thing, for now. Clark Kent was a decent kind of a guy, and whilst he sometimes drove her nuts she was beginning to realise that might just be because she liked him so much. Nobody could bug her so much without there being some deeper emotion there.

"Yeah" she said suddenly, "Friends is good" she agreed, reaching out for a friendly hug which he returned whole-heatedly, til he suddenly heard her whisper in his ear, "for now"

As they parted, Lois turned and moved quickly away, geting into her truck and about ready to drive off before Clark even got a chance to react. The wink she tipped him and wave she threw his way suggested she may have been messing with him, but something deep inside Clark wondered if it would be so bad getting closer to Lois. For that moment, he completely forgot Miss Lana Lang and all she ought to mean to him.

_To Be Continued..._


	9. Chapter 9

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 9

"Lex" Lionel was smiling in uncharacteristic fashion as he burst through the door to the hospital room, "Oh, my son, you have no idea how happy I am to see you..." he stopped short of completing his sentence, the odd grin falling swiftly from his lips when he spotted Chloe at his son's bedside.

His shock and displeasure were furthered by the realisation that the two young people were holding hands as if they meant something to each other. The whole situation made Lionel extremely uneasy as he stood and stared a moment, gaining his composure.

"For a moment, Dad, that was quite an entrance" Lex told his father with a wicked smirk that soon fell into a scowl, "I'm sorry I missed the exit that came earlier but I was actually dying at the time"

"Miss Sullivan" Lionel said sharply and she glanced up at him from her seat, "Would you be so kind as to leave me alone with my son a moment?"

"Lex?" she checked, turning her gaze back to the man she was fast realising she was in love with, "I'll go if you want me to, but..."

"No" he told her, practically begging her to stay with just a look and that one word.

She smiled at him then and nodded once, her silent promise that she would not leave his side until he wished it.

"Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Chloe" Lex told his father with defiance, as Lionel considered his options, though he had very little choice in the matter.

In fact, before the elder Mr Luthor had found anything he might want to say, Lex decided he was far from ready to hear it. He'd held onto too much where his father was concerned, and paid too much mind to the older man's thoughts and opinions. He'd craved love from his surviving parent, and yet, he now realised he was no better or worse without it. The love of Chloe mattered, the love and trust he might gain from the Kents one day would matter, but what his father said or did would not anymore, not after all of this.

"You know, I wonder if I should have any visitors at all" Lex said, thoughtfully, "I should probably be resting. After all, I have only just now been pulled back from the brink of my demise" he said, and Chloe wasn't sure if the slight squeeze he gave her hand to accompany those words was to ensure she understood he believed she was the one to bring him back, or that he was just grateful she had done so.

"Lex, son, you have no idea how worried I was" Lionel assured him, but his son merely scoffed at the very idea of his father being concerned for anyone but himself.

"I know you went against the doctor's advice tonight" he snapped, "I know that you couldn't even bear to stay at my side when I lay dying" he said, his anger increasing, "I also know that my life is going to change from here on out, and that as much as possible you will not be a part of it" he said coolly, letting go of the rage that would only hurt himself.

Lionel was invulnerable to any venom his son or anyone else might spit. He was too hardened by the world and his own ways to really feel anything, Lex was sure of it. Too much time spent trying to be respected and loved by this man, trying too hard to emulate him, it could've been Lex's downfall. He wouldn't let that happen now, Chloe wouldn't either, and they both knew it.

"I understand you've been through an ordeal, Lex, and that you feel the need to blame someone, but..." Lionel began, and this time it was Chloe that jumped in, without even thinking.

"You have no idea what he's been through" she snapped angrily, turning her head sharply to glare at a man that had caused herself, Lex and so many others too much harm, "You don't care about him or anybody, Lionel. I wonder if you ever did"

"This doesn't concern you, Miss Sullivan" he snapped back at her but she stared him down, unphased by the sneer he threw at her.

"Yes, it does" she corrected him, "because your son means a lot to me, Mr Luthor" she said, a sarcastic sort of emphasis on his name, "Clearly more than he ever meant to you. So why don't you go and crawl back under the stone you came out from under, because you're not needed here" she said firmly, voice and gaze not once wavering though inside she was shaking like a leaf.

In spite of knowing Lex was on her side in this and that he would protect her no matter what, Lionel still freaked her out. He had so much power, and was so hell-bent on always winning every battle that came his way, Chloe had often wondered if anything was stronger than his unbreakable will. When she turned back to share a look with Lex, she knew there was one thing that held more strength, and that would be the relationship between herself and the man she'd almost lost tonight.

* * *

_"Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings"_

The Kent family sat together on the couch facing the TV, as 'It's A Wonderful Life' came to its touching end, and as was almost as traditional as the Christmas Tree and Santa, Martha found tears had come to her eyes.

"You know I never get tired of that movie" she said, with a sniff as Jonathan pulled her to him with one arm and dropped a kiss on top of her head.

"Its a classic" he agreed, a yawn suddenly overtaking him, and as he checked his watch he realised why, "Well, I think its time we called it a night"

Martha nodded in agreement, though her attention was taken by her son as he sat by the TV, staring off into space with the video half way back in its case.

"You go on, Jonathan" his wife urged him with a look he knew too well, "I'll be right there"

Without a word, her husband headed off up the stairs, a look of understanding passing between them as he went. Martha then turned to Clark, and reached a hand out to his shoulder.

"Sweetie" she said as he turned to glance at her, "You know, you've been a little quiet since dinner. Is everything alright?" she checked with that genuine concern that only a mother could have for a child.

"Mom, did you ever think you really wanted something, and then when you got it, you wondered if maybe you were wrong? Maybe you wanted something else the whole time and never even realised?" Clark asked her, hoping she even understood the question.

There was a limit to how obvious he was willing to make his situation, especially to his own mother, but he needed advice and his parents seemed always to be the best at giving that.

"Is this about the jacket we bought you, Clark?" she asked with a frown, "Because if you'd like a different one, we can exchange it..."  
"No, Mom, the jacket is great" he grinned at her mistake, "I meant like big stuff, life changing stuff. Did you ever try really hard to make something work, only to realise maybe it wasn't worth it?"

"Rodney Turnblad" Martha sighed, shaking her head, as Clark frowned and joined her on the couch.

"Who's he?" he checked and his mother duly explained.

"He was a boy I knew in High School" she told her son in a hushed voice, ever mindful of her husband over-hearing and taking this all the wrong way, "You know he was the most handsome young man I'd ever laid eyes on, and he was smart and funny, and all the girls wanted to date him. We all tried everything we could to get his attention, and one day I succeeded"

"He asked you out?" Clark checked with an amused smile, as teenage boys do when hearing of such things.

"He did" Martha nodded, "And we had a nice time, we saw quite a lot of each other until his family had to move away and... well, I thought my heart would be broken forever" she smiled, rolling her eyes at her own ridiculous teenage notions, "but then one day, I met your father" she grinned more widely as she recalled the day of their very first meeting, "Oh Clark, that was when I realised I'd never really been in love with Rodney Turnblad or anybody that I'd known before. Suddenly I realised what true love was and in that split second of setting eyes on Jonathan, I just knew that I was going to marry him and we were going to be so happy" she explained, and her son smiled back at her a moment before the expression fell somewhat.

"But what if you can't tell?" he asked, looking pained, "What if you think you know what love is, and you think you found the person you're supposed to be with, and then you think maybe somebody else is the one?" he asked awkwardly.

Martha suddenly put two and two together and got the correct answer of four. She'd suspected something had happened in the barn with Clark and Lois before she got there, in fact she'd wondered if there was something between them long before today, but Clark had always been so very in love with Lana. Now it seemed he was having doubts, and though she couldn't say anything now for fear of swaying his judgement one way or the other, Martha understood his predicament.

"Don't worry about it too much, Clark" she told him with a smile, standing up then leaning down to plant a kiss on his forehead, "It'll all work out in the end, probably when you least expect it to" she promised him, before wishing him a final Merry Christmas and disappearing up the stairs to bed.

Alone in the living room, Clark stared up at the Christmas tree and the angel atop it, as if he expected her to tell him what to do. Of course she couldn't, anymore than his Mom could, but if she was to be believed, things would work out in the end. Clark wasn't sure exactly how that was going to happen, but he'd really like to believe that it would. All Clark knew for sure right now was that Christmas Day had turned out pretty good, and that if he ended up with a future as bright and happy as his parents were right now, he'd have done pretty well.

* * *

Lex stood by the window, only glad to be feeling able to leave his bed. Whether the lease of life he felt was purely from the drugs the doctors gave him he couldn't say, but the young Mr Luther supposed rather it was the revelations of the past twenty four hours that gave him this strength, this want to be living his life to its very fullest now. Suddenly, his life seemed so much more worth the living somehow, not necessarily because he had almost lost it to an ill-placed bullet, but because the events that followed had made him realise that up to now he had not been living at all.

Two remarkable women had started to show him the way and he would follow where they led. Indeed, he had begun quite well by making it clear to his father he would no longer follow in his shadow, or strive to be the son he wanted. No, he would be the man that would make his mother proud as she watched over him, the man that Chloe would love, and dare he hope, one day married.

He smiled as he thought of the blonde who had come to mean so much to him. Now he realised she had always been there, always mattered more than she perhaps should, and that he'd buried all the feelings he might have had for her. Not anymore, of course, and it seemed that when she too let her real emotions show, her affection for him was not to be denied.

Chloe had left his side only when she felt she really must, and then only at Lex's own insistence. She was beyond tired, as well as hungry, though it had taken some prodding to convince her that her own welfare was as important as his own. She'd left just a few minutes ago, saying she would be back within the hour, until Lex insisted she stay away longer, getting some real rest, before she ended up being admitted into a hospital bed beside his own. Relenting, Chloe had agreed to do as he asked.

"You don't get rid of me that easily, Luthor" she warned him with her playful parting shot, "I'm far from done with you yet"

The look when she said it proved that whilst her words were jovial, her meaning was true. Her eyes conveyed the sentiment that her words may have semi-hidden. Though words of love had not been spoken in any literal sense, the pair knew where they stood, and it would be pretty close together from now on.

Suddenly, a man cleared his throat from the doorway, and Lex knew only too well who it was, without even turning his head.

"I thought you didn't make house calls" he reminded Griff, the man he had been meeting just last night, and yet somehow it felt like a lifetime ago.

"Given the circumstances, I made an exception" the man said gruffly, and Lex was only glad Chloe wasn't here right now.

He would explain all this too her one day, but it would be easier if she didn't think ill of him for a while at least. It would be difficult to explain away why he'd ever had a meeting with this man, without losing at least some of her good judgement of him.

"Not to worry, Griff" Lex smirked as he turned to him with an amusement, "We Luthors are made of pretty tough and definitely expensive material" he told him, which only made the other man frown.

"Are you sure your morphine drip isn't turned up too high?" he asked warily, but Lex just brushed his words away with a gesture of his hand.

"Well, it's not everyday one has a near death experience" he told him, "and it's true, much like Ebenezer Scrooge, I realised that what I want more than anything is to live happily ever after" he smiled, "and do you know what the secret to happiness is?" he asked

Griff looked wary a moment, before shaking his head slightly, almost afraid of what Lex's answer would be, after all, the grin on his face was akin to a mad man right now, and his question about the morphine drip was not seeming so flippant suddenly.

"The love of a good woman" Lex declared suddenly, arms spread wide with the announcement that clearly meant much more to him than it did to Griff.

"So, what am I doing here?" came the confused man's next question, and Lex looked him right in the eye as he gave his answer.

"I want you to forget about that grenade you were going to pull the pin on. I still want to be Senator but I've come to realise that there are some things in life that are a little more important than that" he said as he turned back towards the window and looked out over the town from so many storeys up.

The lights of Metropolis had never looked so bright, the world never so inviting as right now, as Lex realised from here on out his life was going to be so different, and yet so very good. He had Chloe now, and he understood what she meant to him, what he might mean to her, and how wonderful life could be.

"You sure that's the choice you wanna make?" Griff checked, and Lex smirked at the memory of all he'd heard from his mother about making choices.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life" he said definitely, almost certain that as he looked into the glass of the window he saw the reflection of his mother looking back, and she was smiling.

_The End_

_(except for the Epilogue - expect that at the weekend!)_


	10. Epilogue

**A/N : Merry Christmas to all those that celebrate it, and Happy Holidays to all those that celebrate anything else:-)  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_**

Epilogue

The sun shining across his face woke Lex Luthor from peaceful sleep and he opened his eyes to welcome in the sights of Christmas Eve.

"Daddy! Daddy!" two voices chorused as the bed began to jolt and shift under the weight of his bouncing twins.

"Lilly! Leo!" their mother admonished them without any real anger in her voice, "Give your Dad a chance to wake up before you leap on him" she smiled, and Lex did the same as he turned to look at her.

Chloe was as beautiful now as she had been all those years ago, that other Christmas when she'd sat by his bedside and helped him to defy death. A marriage and five year old twins later, she really hadn't changed as far as Lex could see.

As the two perfect kids with strawberry blonde hair were sent back to their own rooms to get dressed, Chloe joined her husband back on the bed and passed him a cup of fresh coffee which he gratefully accepted.

"Good morning" she said with a sultry smile as she leaned in to kiss his lips,

"Can you believe its Christmas Eve again already?" she said then, sitting back against the headboard and sipping her coffee.

"It comes around fast" her husband agreed, his hand going subconsciously to the scars he bore, permanent reminders of that Christmas Eve many years ago, the near-tragedy that had led to this dream setting.

When he thought back to that dream, hallucination, whatever it was, he could see this scene as it was now and yet different. The house was quite similar to that he'd dreamt of, and he'd left the mansion behind long ago, but his situation was far different from that unhappy marriage and permanent separation from his blood relatives. Though he and Lionel saw eye-to-eye on little or nothing, especially where business was concerned, they remained civil, and when it came to Chloe and the kids, old Grandpa Lionel just couldn't do enough.

Lex wasn't sure when his father had come to like his wife so much, perhaps when she produced the gifts that were his grandchildren. Maybe it was before that, when he realised she was good Luthor material, as headstrong, stubborn, and intelligent as any of them ever had been or would ever be. All Lex knew for sure was that he was as happy now as he could ever be, as happy as he had been by the end of that magical dream.

"Hey" Chloe caught his attention once again, "Today always makes you thoughtful too, doesn't it?"

"If anything, today makes me grateful for what I have" Lex told her as he put his and her coffee mugs down on the nightstand and turned back to put a hand to her face, "It makes me remember how my life might have been, and how completely different and perfect it is... because of you" he smiled and Chloe did the same.

"You saying stuff like that to me never gets old" she told him, almost tearing up at the sentiment as they both leaned in to kiss each other.

The magic moment was broken in a moment as the kids came pelting back into the bedroom, yelling about buying a Christmas Tree and Santa coming soon. Lex and Chloe couldn't ever be mad at the twins for interrupting their quiet reverie. Life was not only perfect because they had each other but because they had their children too.

This afternoon they would head over to the home of their extended family, the Kent Farm, which would only serve to increase the joy of their Christmas. Despite all the odds, Lex and Clark had once again found a way to be best friends, and even as close as the brothers they had once aspired to. Both men knew their rediscovered bond had mostly come about due to their dating and consequently marrying cousins. Now they had this huge expanded family that would do anything for each other, and not one amongst them really thought about Miss Lana Lang who was long gone from all their lives now. She had soon been outed as a demanding, somewhat bitchy young woman, who grew both bitter and bratty when she didn't get what she wanted from the men in her life.

Lex couldn't shift the grin from his face as Leo and Lilly pulled him from his bed and urged him to quickly get dressed as they were desperate to go pick out the Christmas tree. Chloe looked almost as thrilled as the kids to be caught up in the wonder of all this Christmas joy, and Lex silently thanked God for those almost-tragic events that had happened many years ago, on a cold Christmas Eve in Metropolis, Kansas. Thanks to the changes he made in his life following that night, Lex would never feel cold or lonely again, he would never want for love or happiness, and he would always have a Merry Christmas amongst family and friends.

"Thanks, Mom" he whispered as he watched Chloe lead the kids off to the kitchen for breakfast, and he could of swore he heard her answer him.

"You're welcome, Alexander. Merry Christmas"

- The End -


End file.
